Blindfolded in the Backseat

One Friday morning, after Eric left for work, I came across a card. It read:

To My Loving Wife...

We are taking you on a trip! You have 8 hours to pack your belongings for a weekend of fun, food, and lots of excitement. We will be departing Altus no later than 5 p.m. tonight and eating a late-ish dinner when we arrive at our destination. We'll return Sunday evening. 

You will need to pack at least a swimsuit and some "going out clothes" (think nice restaurant, not fancy schmancy). 

Do not, we repeat, DO NOT even bother asking where we are going. It will do you no good. Furthermore, you will be blindfolded for the first portion of our trip...so either find something comfy to cover your eyes or an old t-shirt will have to do the trick (and no one wants that). Please text us to confirm you have received this notification. 

Your vacation begins in T-minus 480 minutes. 

Joe & Eric

A mile or so down the road, Emily was waking up to find the same card. We were both still feeling pretty perplexed and excited by the time we met up at the Pie in the Eye office picnic that afternoon. Emily and I made our best efforts to coax some clues out of Eric or Joe, but they remained tight-lipped and poker faced. As did their colleagues who were also in on the secret.

Joe and Emily arrived to retrieve Eric and me for the trip between 4 and 5 o'clock that evening. It was required Emily and I put on our blindfolds before leaving the driveway. We did as we were told (for the first and last time in history) and did our best to mentally keep track of the turns the car made on the way out of town. Joe, being the clever guy he is, took it upon himself to do some donuts to throw us off course. Some time mid-donut, it occurred to me that I'd forgotten to pack something important. Eric quickly informed  everyone that this was the norm for any trip or outing we ever take, and told Joe to cut his losses and turn around right then.

We re-booted, re-blindfolded, and left the driveway again. Between 20 and 30 minutes into the trip, Eric and Joe decided we'd passed the final landmark that could have given our destination away, and allowed us to remove our blindfolds. The guys told us not to waste any time trying to guess where we were going, but naturally, Emily and I could talk about nothing else. Though; the reality of the situation was that we had no clue where we were going until we finally saw the sign for Amarillo.

Even once we'd seen the sign, the guys refused to acknowledge that we had figured them out. They pulled off the road into the parking lot of the Big Texan Steak Ranch. Just in case you haven't heard, the Big Texan Steak Ranch is the WORLD FAMOUS home of the Free 72oz steak. If you can eat it, along with all of your side dishes in one hour, it's on the house! In case you are having a difficult time imagining what this may look like, you can actually watch it all go down (er, hopefully) live, on their website. Here are a few pictures of the brave souls that tried that night.

Thought the guy in black was going to pull off a win...

Until I took this picture and saw the horror in his eyes. There were no winners that night.

Next to the steakhouse, was a western town themed hotel with a Texas-shaped pool. Joe and Eric kept up an act that this western town hotel was our final destination, which gave me heart palpitations (I have hotel phobias), until they gave up the gig and finally admitted we'd be spending the weekend in Amarillo. Once I knew we were not spending the weekend at the Big Texan Steak Ranch, I was able to relax and enjoy an actually very delicious dinner of fine red meat.

 

After a massive dinner and a stomach-turning show of four dudes forcing themselves to eat an insane amount of food, our sweet tooths (teeth?) were calling out. Joe and Eric already had that covered. We got back into the car and drove onward to the last surprise of the night: fro yo at FrazzleBerry!!

If we weren't full before, we certainly were after dessert. Full and sleepy. We made our way to our hotel and before parting ways, Emily and I were told to get our rest because the next day would be fun-filled and full of adventure.

After breakfast in the hotel that morning, where you could make a Texas-shaped waffle, we got in the car and started driving around Amarillo. It eventually became clear that shopping was the focus of our morning itinerary. Our first stop was at a boutique store where Emily and I were told that our challenge was to spend $50.00 on anything we wanted in the store. Mission accomplished. After the mission was accomplished, we drove around an outdoor mall that had approximately a zillion stores. We popped in and out of a few of the stores and then drove to Historic Route 66, where there were a bunch of antique shops. We stopped in a few of them to peruse curious finds and pick through junk, and eventually worked up an appetite.

There were a couple of restaurants in the area and we decided to try Smokey Joe's. It was a biker bar type place; the local watering hole if you will. The food was good and the beers were refreshing.

After lunch we all started descending into food comas, and we went back to our hotel to take a nap before starting part two of day two of our Amarillo adventure. Eric and Joe told us to dress in work out type clothes for part two of the day. Emily and I figured we were hiking, but were so surprised when we saw the signs for Palo Duro Canyon State Park. Known as, "the Grand Canyon of Texas," the Palo Duro Canyon is over 120 miles long, as much as 20 miles wide, and has a maximum depth of more than 800 feet. I had absolutely no idea that Palo Duro was so close to Altus. I was completely overjoyed to discover such an amazing place in such close proximity to our home. Our first stop was the visitor's center where we asked the ranger's advice about which parts of the canyon to try to hike that afternoon. It was an extremely hot day, and the ranger's informed us that several people had already been rescued from hikes after suffering heat exhaustion. We made our way to the trail head they suggested we try. The thermometer located at the head of the Lighthouse Trail read well over 100 degrees. Each couple had a camel back full of water and we only planned to hike for about an hour. We had a great time and none of us felt too hot. We stayed hydrated (though, Eric was quite serious about rationing) and enjoyed breaks from the sun every time it hid behind a fluffy white cloud or dropped behind the tall walls of the Canyon.

 

All of us were starving by the end of our hike. Joe and Eric took us to a place to "clean up" before dinner, which primarily consisted of splashing water on our faces and changing out of tennis shoes and into flip flops. The guys implied that we had a long drive to get to dinner, but we made about two turns within the park and pulled into a parking lot outside an outdoor amphitheater. Our next surprise was a Texas Chuck Wagon dinner (bbq), which we ate at picnic tables. The barbeque was delicious and totally hit the spot after the hike. 

Over our chow from the Chuck Wagon (whatever that means), Emily and I were informed that the dinner was actually part of a dinner/theater type event. In fact, Palo Duro Canyon is the home of Texas!, an outdoor musical, which has been running for 45 years. It is also the official play of the state of Texas. Go ahead and try to top that! The show was about the lives of the settlers of the Texas panhandle in the 1800s. It was full of drama and special effects; complete with live horses, fire, and lightning. At the start of the show, the cast promised a, "patriotic finale and tribute to America." They certainly delivered on that promise. The only words I can come up with to describe the level of patriotism displayed during that tribute would likely be offensive to at least some of the people who read this blog. Therefore, all I am going to say is that you would have to see it to believe it. But if you are ever in Palo Duro between the months of June and August, see it. Definitely. See it.

We went back to the hotel, exhausted by heat, thirst, and nationalism, and crashed for the night. The next morning, after our Texas-shaped waffles, we got back into the car and started driving again. Emily and I were back on our game of guessing what was coming next when I noticed Cadillac Ranch on the opposite side of the road. Immediately, I knew this was our morning attraction. I had seen this place on TV a few times, but never imagined it was right outside of Amarillo, Texas. I was pretty excited to see it. I mean, how many people do you know that can cross this one of their bucket list?

After Cadillac Ranch, we got to stop at some of our favorite stores: Target, World Market, and an indoor mall. This probably sounds trivial to many of you, but it is a big deal to those of us who live in Altus. This is another phenomena you'd have to experience to truly understand. We had lunch at Red Robin, which unfortunately was out of 50% of their menu items. This was disappointing because we wasted our, "let's eat at a chain restaurant we can't normally eat at" lunch on a place that couldn't rise to our lofty expectations (again, people who live in Altus, or somewhere like it, know what I'm talking about).

Our disappointing lunch at Red Robin was the coup de grâce of our Amarillan adventure. We were tired, shopped out, full, and about three hours from home on a Sunday afternoon. Emily and I were happy and had been sufficiently surprised, spoiled, and entertained. For an entire weekend, we didn't have to make a single decision or plan, we had tons of fun, many laughs, and got to shop our little hearts out. Eric and Joe, on the other hand, had been sufficiently exhausted by our relentless questioning about what was to come, but (hopefully) were also happy to have pulled off a truly excellent adventure. Thank you to Joe and Eric for making every attempt to make our time in this very special part of the country as fun as it possibly can be!