"It feels like a tracker jacker!"

It's true. Yet another friend was crazy enough to visit us. I picked Caitlin up at the OKC airport on Friday, April 27th. She had planned her trip out to Altus months ago in order to be here for the Rattlesnake Derby in Mangum, OK, a festival, which I have hear through the grapevine, is on some sort of list that compiles awesome experiences. "Things to do before you die...," "Best festivals in the USA...," something along those lines. Either way, Caitlin certainly had her choice of fun things to do while in southwest Oklahoma. I like to say she hit the visitors of Altus jackpot...

Here were some of the options on the table: the Carson & Barnes Circus, the Mangum Rattlesnake Derby, visiting the Wichita Wildlife Refuge (which was featured that weekend on CBS Sunday Morning's Nature Segment), visiting the Yellow Rose Firing Range in downtown Altus, and hiking in Quartz Mountain.

We had a full itinerary, and, as expected, were not able to accomplish all of it. We did check several things off the bucket list, though, and had a wonderful weekend!

It all started when I picked her up at the airport. As a pulled up to the gate, I saw a woman standing there with huge, platinum blonde hair. As it sunk in that it was Caitlin, I found myself wondering how she'd managed to maintain that level of body during her several hour plane trip. As she approached, it dawned on me that she was wearing her Kim Zolciak (from the Real Housewives of Atlanta) wig. Girl is CA-RAY-Z,  but it definitely made her easy to spot! She got in the car and as we drove away from the airport, she turned to me and said, "do you really drive all this way only to turn around and go straight home?" To be honest, I hadn't really considered any other option. I was sort of in mission mode. Realizing it was close to lunch time, I suggested we stop somewhere cool in OKC for lunch. I told Caitlin I thought I knew the way downtown. I was wrong. We drove on the highway for 30 good minutes before I suggested she pull out her smartphone.

We eventually ended up in Bricktown where we walked along the canal (or whatever it is) for a while before stopping for lunch at Toby Keith's I love this Bar & Grill. Here, we made the first of the many difficult decisions we would go on to make that weekend like, "should we get frozen margaritas in the Toby Keith collectors mason jar or just cold beers?"  Life is tough.

We made our way to Altus after a yummy lunch. I treated Caitlin  to the driving tour of Altus (down Main Street) and then took her back to our house where we had to make the next difficult decision of the weekend, which was whether or not to attend the circus. After much, MUCH hemming and hawing, we opted not to go. I was getting the distinct feeling that I might have been the only one interested in attending anyway (I have to admit, I would have forced everyone to go had I not known I will probably get a second chance to go next year). We opted instead to invite friends over to grill out and play corn hole.

Unfortunately, it was at this point that Caitlin really started looking kind of rough. She had a headache when she got here and it seemed like it was getting worse and worse. She was trying to be a champ and stick it out, but I could tell she needed some shut-eye. I suggested she lay down for a while. She agreed. Well, "a while" turned into all night. She slept straight through the party and didn't come back out of her room until after midnight. She must have been arisen by the smell of the Tombstone pizza that Eric was cooking in the oven. Caitlin, Eric, and I stayed up well past 3am, munching on pizza and catching up on each others lives.

Saturday was the day we had all been waiting for. The day of the Mangum Rattlesnake Derby. After a hearty breakfast, we all piled into our friend Chris' jeep and left for Mangum.The very first thing we did at the festival was visit the Rattlesnake Pit, which was full of probably hundreds of live (obviously) rattlesnakes. Most of them were piled up and laying still with the exception of their rattlers going a mile a minute. But there were also a good number of them that were slithering around...like snakes. In addition to the snakes, there were two men in the pit. One was educating us about rattlesnakes while the other was making himself busy either by doing his best to agitate the snakes or by carrying them around so the audience could get up close and personal.

After the pit, we made our way to the Butcher Shop. This was, hands down, the most quease-inducing portion of the experience. Here, we watched two men butcher and skin a live rattlesnake. Disclaimer: faint-hearted readers and members of PETA should skip the remainder of this paragraph. Here was the process: the live snake's head was removed by chopping it off with an axe. The snake was no longer alive, but its body continued to move as though it was. In fact, the head even continued to bite and shoot venom. Next, they hung the writhing snake's body from a hook, peeled it's skin back, removed all the ooey gooies from inside the snake, and placed the still-beating heart on a table for the audience to marvel at. Then, they placed the skinned snake's body in a clear plastic box where the audience could observe it continue to move around. The final step was to sell the snake to people who paid $20/pound for the meat and to sell the skin to people who paid much more than that. The only thing that made watching this spectacle tolerable for me was the fact that I knew all parts of these snakes were going to be used and it wasn't just for show.

 

After the demonstration, we ran into some other friends who were watching the Miss Rattlesnake Pageant. The competition part of the pageant had taken place the night before. At the Derby, the contestants were simply introduced and then the winners were announced. We stuck around long enough to see Miss Derby get crowned before we all made our way to the local watering hole on the square.

We spent the rest of our time at the Derby checking out the vendors. To the left is a picture of the most interesting jewelry we found. Unfortunately neither Caitlin nor I could think of an appropriate outfit to wear them with...

 It took about an hour for all of us to purchase commemorative T shirts because the eighty year old gentleman who was assisting us kept forgetting our requests on the way back to the printing station. He was sweet and was trying very hard to do a good job. Or at least he seemed sweet until our friend Chris tried to haggle with him a little, at which point he bit Chris' head off...he was more vicious than the rattlesnakes!

I talked to my sister at the end of the weekend. She asked, "so did it seem like something one should do before one dies?" My response was that it depends on how much time one has. If the answer to that question is still undetermined, sure it is an event worth attending! If you have been told you only have weeks or months, I suggest checking a few other things off before getting around to this one.

After the Derby, Eric took a nap while Caitlin and I went to downtown Altus to bust some caps at the Yellow Rose Firing Range. I had only shot once before on my grandparents' farm a long time ago and Caitlin had never shot before. She walked in and told the shop owner that she wanted to, "shoot with something big." He showed us his selection and Caitlin selected the Glock. My heart immediately started to race and I could feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. We grabbed our eye and ear protection and followed the man into the range. Thankfully, we were the only two shooters (is that what you call them?) in the range at that time. This allowed us to be as nervous and goofy as we wanted/needed to be. The shop owner took the first shot to show us what to expect in terms of kick back and sound. After I heard the boom, I made the announcement that I wasn't quite sure I was up to the task. Caitlin bravely stepped up and shot the first round. She looked like a pro! She assured me that it wasn't too bad so I gave it a...shot.

People who know me know that I am not a huge fan of guns. I have to be honest, though. It was a pretty exhilarating experience. People are going to bust my chops for this, but I have to say that it was really a lot of fun! Caitlin and I made complete fools of ourselves; tripping over ourselves with excitement and nervousness, but it was a great time. I think the shop owner had fun with us too. He got a kick out of the fact that I jumped out of the way of every shell that jumped out of the gun after each shot and he was thrilled that Caitlin looked like a Charlie's Angel; his words, not mine!

After leaving the firing range, Caitlin saw the City of Altus sign on the main square and wanted to take a picture next to it. Sometime between both of us posing next to the sign and getting back in the car, a bee landed on my arm and sunk its stinger right into my skin. Immediately expletives begin flying out of my mouth and I started flailing around. My car stalled out and I jumped out into the street. Once Caitlin figured out what was going on she went between taking pictures, laughing, and asking if I was okay. It had been quite some time since I'd last been stung. Let me tell you, it is a whole heck of a lot more painful than I remember it being! I got a welt the size of Mount Olympus on my forearm that is still visible today. Once the whole ordeal was over, we looked across the street and noticed a man eating an ice cream cone and watching the whole scene unfold. At least it was entertaining for someone...

On Saturday night, Eric, Caitlin, and I went over to Chris' house for more grilling and more corn hole (can you tell this is a favorite pastime?). We had what at the time seemed like a pretty intense tournament, but I really couldn't even tell you who won. Chris and his brother, Charlie, grilled up a ton of delicious food. Charlie planned for each person to eat a brat, a burger, and a steak! Needles to say, there were more than a few leftovers. Chris told me yesterday he's been eating burgers all week... At one point on Saturday night it started looking like we might get a great thunderstorm so we all sat in Chris' apartment waiting for the show (his apartment faces a huge crop field; he has front row seats to the best storms). Unfortunately, it either changed direction or fizzled out before reaching us so we called it a night.

On Sunday morning, Caitlin and I went to Quartz Mountain to hike the New Horizon Trail, a favorite of mine and Eric's. I was amazed at how different the mountain looked from the last time I'd hiked. Wildflowers and other greenery covered much of the face of the mountain, I could hardly recognize it. I had a great deal of difficulty following my normal path and got turned around several times. Despite this, everything was going well and Caitlin and I were slowly making our way up the mountain. She was leading the way. She hesitated for a minute and said, "Oh, a cactus, I better not fall on that." And what did she proceed to do? Stumble a little and ever-so-lightly tap her booty on the cactus. It looked like she had fallen in slow motion. All I can say is that I'm glad she didn't all out fall on the thing, because for as brief as that body to cactus moment was, she sure had a ton of needles in her hind parts. And everywhere. At first the was calm, but then she started to feel the prickles everywhere and it was painful. She yelled, "it feels like a tracker jacker!" Then it was my turn to shift between laughter and concern. I could hardly believe that this had happened to her. I told her it was up to her whether we finished the hike. She said, "let's keep going." And we did, despite the fact that she said she, "felt like her body was going into shock," we made it to the top of that mountain! And back down.

Bruised, bloodied, and broken, we went home to do our best to recover. Recovery came in the form of a three hour nap that afternoon. After our naps, we made dinner and spent the rest of the evening catching up on our Bravo programming; a passion both Caitlin and I share.

When Monday morning rolled around, I could hardly believe it was already time to return Caitlin to the airport for her trip home. I was still trying to get used to the idea that she was ever in Altus in the first place! Goodbyes always come too soon, but I am so thankful she made the trip (and I hope she is too). Eric and I really loved being able to show her around Altus and having her as a guest in our home. It certainly was an exciting and memorable weekend. We have the scars to prove it.