Atypical Altusian Weekend

People. We had events (plural) to attend.

On Friday night, Eric and I attended our first official AF function since Dining Out at the end of JASOC. This means that Eric had to get all fancied up in his Mess Dress and I got to wear something pretty. Something sparkly. The event was a banquet to honor the nominees and celebrate the recipients of this year's base-wide awards. A paralegal from Eric's office had been nominated so we attended in support of him. It was a good event complete with the comedies and tragedies of anything worth attending. As for comedy, we were all squished into our tables and chairs like sardines. And, as with any AF event, there is a serious amount of "please rise for..." Each time we were asked to stand, the majority of the room had to enter a sort of dance with one another. We had to move with great coordination. No one knew the steps, but we caught on quite quickly; stand from the right, sit from the left. And you better hope you are not sitting next to a lefty at dinner! As for tragedy, our guy did not ultimately win the award, which we were all a little disappointed about. But between the hilarious and the sad, I got to meet several of the people Eric works with as well as a number of the big wigs on base. It is always nice to put faces to the names you hear on a regular basis.

When we got home, I thought Eric and I might enjoy some wine and a movie, but the poor guy seems to have lost some stamina since moving out to the country. Unable to keep up with the pace of a busy work week AND THEN going out to a party, he was zonked out, I'm talking snoring on the couch, by 11. Hey, that's usually my job!

On Saturday we had a big day ahead. A day I have been looking forward to for months. The Miss Altus beauty pageant. OH EM GEE. Originally, a big group of us had planned on going, but the men folk slowly trickled out of the picture. By the time Saturday rolled around, the only guy still on the roster was Eric. And he crumbled under pressure. Opting to play video games and eat pizza instead (a guy's night through and through), he called out at the last minute.

Off I went to Charlies on base where I enjoyed some pre-event beverages and dinner with two lovely ladies, Sarah and Lauren. Suzanne, the fourth lovely lady in our group, was kind enough to agree to pick us up at Charlies and take us to the auditorium downtown. Before I go on with the story, there is something you need to know. I had all of the tickets in my wallet because I was the one who was designated, "responsible enough not to lose them." We are talking some serious pressure for the new-ish girl in town. The stakes were high. I was confident.

Back to the story. Suzanne was supposed to pick us up, but we had a bit of a blip in communication. When we (I'm not naming names) received the text from Suzanne asking where to park, we thought she meant, "where do I park when I get to Charlies?" What she actually meant was, "I am at Charlies waiting for you with my three year old daughter who has to pee."  When we finally realized the error in our interpretation of her texts, Suzanne and her baby had already been waiting in the car a good fifteen minutes for us. Of course this realization resulted in a frenzied escape from Charlies. My frenzied escape resulted in me leaving my wallet on the table. Tickets and all.

I called Eric and asked him to pick up my wallet and bring it to us at the the auditorium. He, too, already had a couple of beverages under the belt and said, "No can do, sweetie." So instead, he called Charlie and asked her to hold my wallet for me while I begged the ladies at the entrance of the pageant to have mercy on the new-ish girl. I love small towns. She remembered me, reminded me where our seats were, and had mercy. We took our seats and settled in for an exciting couple of hours.

Miss Oklahoma talking about Miss America

The pageant was the real-deal complete with swimming suit, evening gown, talent, and interview portions of the competition. We were also graced by the presence of Miss Oklahoma who received first runner up at the 2012 Miss America Pageant. That's right, we were among royalty. My favorite portion of these types of competitions is always the interview. The best that night went a little like this,


Interviewer: "What do you want other people to know about people from the state of Oklahoma?"
Contestant: "I want people to know that people from the state of Oklahoma are polite, nice, and caring, which is not something you can say for the northern states."
Me: "Booooo, oh wait, was that mean? My bad." (okay fine, that last part happened in my head, but come on, really?)

In the end of the competition, some girl was crowned Miss Altus and my crew and I skipped the after party in the Blue Room (we had kids to get to bed, babysitters to relieve, and wallets to recover). Someday, I am going to attend one of those... Nonetheless, I maintain the pageants hosted by the city of Altus are some of the best entertainment you can get around here. I've already marked my calendar for next year!

Aaaaaand fast-forward to the end of the weekend. It was Sunday night and bitter cold. We got our first real snow of the season (not counting a little dusting we were graced with on Christmas morning). We got about four full inches. Enough for Eric to have a one-hour delay for work on Monday. By Monday afternoon it was all gone and by Wednesday, we are supposed to be up to 70 degrees. That is how winter is done in the dust bowl, my friends.

Does this mark the beginning or end of my 28th year?

I think after a lengthy and confusing conversation with my dad, the mathmagician, I can answer this question. Each birthday marks the end, not the beginning, of a year. When I turned 28, it signified that I have been an occupant of Earth for 28 full years. It did not mean that I am starting my 28th year. Though I am unable to articulate why, this thought actually scared me a little. Perhaps you already knew this and it is not alarming. Perhaps no one has a clue what I am talking about. But for me, it was a significant revelation. I've told you before about Altus and revelations...they come at odd times and about strange things...

Regardless, I ended my 28th year on Earth with a bang! First of all, I was able to celebrate the fact that I have two friends with whom I could enjoy lunch on my birthday. This is a big accomplishment and I am ecstatic about it. In Maryland, I ran in packs (wolf-like, I know, but not in a Twilight or Sci-Fi way). I was always surrounded by friends. Friend-making in Altus has been steady, but slow-going; something to which I am unaccustomed. On my birthday, I enjoyed a lovely lunch with Sarah, Robin and baby Caroline at the Grapevine Cafe in Downtown Altus. For the first time I ordered their chicken salad on a croissant, I will never have it any other way. Revelations. The rest of my birthday day was filled with calls, emails, texts, and facebook messages from friends and loved ones. These messages brightened my day and, for the first time in history, I was able to respond to every last one of them. Who says being unemployed doesn't have its perks?

On Monday night, Eric was supposed to make my birthday request, Pad Thai, for dinner. However, I suggested that we postpone the dinner to Friday (instead of a work night), crack open a bottle of wine, and make a date-night out of it. He agreed and we had leftovers instead. After dinner, I heard him banging around in the kitchen, searching through all of the drawers. A few minutes later he walked out with an ice cream cake that he had embellished with Reese's minis (that is love). He sang the birthday song and did a little gig. I made a wish and blew out the candles.

On the weekend after my birthday, Chris, Eric and I met Sarah, her bother, Imran, and her sister-in-law, Betsey, in Dallas. Sarah's birthday was exactly one week after mine so we did a joint celebration out on the town in a real big city. We stayed at The Adolphus and enjoyed dinner at a I-don't-know-how-many-stars restaurant called, Charlie Palmer at The Joule. The hotel and the dinner were about as classy as it gets. The rest of the night was a ton of fun, but I would hardly describe it as classy. We learned a lot about ourselves that weekend. Primarily, that we are more at home in dive bars than in the posh clubs surrounded by lines to get in. Either that or we are incredibly impatient. You can take the kids out of Altus, but you cant take the Altus out of the kids.

All feeling a bit delicate on Sunday, the ride home for Chris, Eric and me was...slow. Once getting home, Eric and I spent the rest of the day doing important things like catching up on our long list of, "movies we want to see."

On Monday, Eric made the best Pad Thai he's ever made. He ended up making it on a Monday anyway because we had decided to have dinner out with friends instead on Friday night (friends who we are happy to still be able to call friends after a major foot-in-mouth faux pas on my part). Let's just say, it's always a good idea to double check who the recipient of your text message is before you press send...but I digress...back to Monday!

We sat at our dining room table (as opposed to on the couch in front of the TV) and enjoyed a meal together. A delicious dinner and face time with Eric was the best birthday present of all.

Four Hergs, One Adventure

Four Hergs, one adventure

In the middle of January, Eric's parents made their pilgrimage to Altus, America. In the weeks before their arrival, I worried that the potentially freezing temperatures the month of January usually offers would make for a pretty icky visit to our fabulous little city. However, mother nature bestowed upon us some gorgeous temperatures and allowed the wind (you know, the stuff that comes sweeping down the plains) to subside for the few days they were here.

On a Friday afternoon, I picked mom & pop H up from the Will Rogers Airport in OKC. They piled into my little car and tried to mentally prepare for the trip home. Hearing that it is a two hour drive home from the airport is different than actually making the two hour drive. Each person I've picked up from OKC usually starts to get excited that we are nearing home when we drive into Lawton. The fun part is telling them we still have an hour to go... But being that this was their first time in Oklahoma, they enjoyed and were fascinated by the views and the (lack of) scenery.

Since it was a Friday, Eric was still at work when we got into town. I drove them through Altus and brought them to our house, which they could pick out once we were on the street form the zillions of pictures we've sent/posted. I gave them a tour and then we sat out on the back porch and had some snacks & refreshments while we enjoyed the balmy January weather and waited for Eric.

We sure packed a lot of fun and adventure (and car time) into their one little weekend in Altus. On Friday night we went out to dinner at the Quartz Mountain Resort & Restaurant, which Eric and I had raved was, "probably the best restaurant you are going to find (not actually) in Altus." Eric and I both felt the food was only okay that night, and his parents were too nice to comment otherwise. At least in taking them there they got to see the beautiful mountains, Lake Altus, and a very lovely sunset. After dinner, we took a little walk outside by the water and were treated to a breathtaking starry sky; big sky country = millions of stars country, it really is a beautiful thing to see.

On Saturday morning, Eric stepped into his dad's breakfast cookin' slippers and whipped up a lovely breakfast. Then, tummies full, we took in the sites of downtown A-town. We hit all the usual antique/boutique hotspots. One shop owner, who Jerry engaged in conversation, remarked that when she traveled to the DC area, she was taken aback by all of the scenery (read, buildings, trees, foliage, what have you) and that she finds it is kind of nice to be able to "see where you're going." Conversations like these are good for me to hear. They remind me that as much as this place can get to me and drive me crazy, it is actually what some people prefer. They really are more comfortable with wide, open spaces.

Prison at Ft. Sill where Geronimo was held

After mom & pop H had their fill of downtown, we drove out to Ft. Sill in Lawton. Rumor had it the museums on Ft. Sill were worth seeing. That excursion seemed right up Big Jer's alley, so we saved the Ft. Sill trip for their visit. The museum was actually pretty large and impressive. Divided into several buildings and historical sites, we got to see an interesting collection of American Indian history and artwork (mostly focused on the US Army's interactions with (and against) Native people), the prison where they held Geronimo and other prisoners of war, Geronimo's grave site, and a large collection of the Army's tanks and their bombs and their bombs and their guns. You tell me which part you think Eric & Jerry enjoyed most and which part Lourdes and I liked best, I'll give you one guess...

Where's Waldo (Eric)?

An inspirational message on the wall at Meers

By the time we finished looking at all of the above and more, we had worked up pretty significant appetites. Meers was the only cure. To Meers we went! Or tried to go, but we got lost on Ft. Still. We found a gate, which was closed and then we got lost again! About an hour later, we finally weaved our way off that massive military base and found our way to Meers. By that time, we were really starving. Of course, per the usual, we were greeted by a long long (too many longs) line at Meers, but we got there just in the nick of time as it grew exponentially as we waited. We were finally seated a good three hours after we first felt the pangs of hunger, man, life is tough. Jerry and Lourdes, like those that have come before them, were not disappointed in the Meerscheeseburgers, the Meersbeers, or the Meerscobler. Tummies full again, we made our way back to Altus. 

Sunday was game day. It pains me to talk about it now, but at that time the Ravens' Superbowl hopes were alive and well. We had planned a little gathering for the Ravens v. Texans game so that our friends could meet our family. I made a big lasagna (I suggest you try this, 'twas a hit) and we had a plethora of snackums and schneckens. The game was stressful to watch, but the party was fun. And in the end, the Ravens got that "W," like I said, still hurts.

Mom & pop H were leaving on Monday out of OKC. How time flies when you are having fun! We couldn't believe it was already time to return them to Will Rogers. We had just enough time on Monday morning to take Jerry & Lourdes on a tour of Altus AFB complete with a stop at Eric's swanky office. They enjoyed seeing where the magic happens; its hard not to feel proud of Eric when you see that place. We made the long trek to the airport and before we knew it, were saying our goodbyes. Our time for Altusian adventure had run out.

Now Eric and I can say that we've hosted both of our parents in our own home. It is always an interesting shift in roles since for so long, we have been the guests/occupants of their homes. It is a pleasure to do it. It is nice to feel like you have a little bit of a opportunity to take care of the people who have taken care of you for so long (and in our cases, it really was so long). Of course, just like with my parents, the phrase "take care" is only relative. Eric's parents continued to take care of us, even as guests, by gifting us with so many of the tools and gadgets we need to continue to build our home and progress on our many projects.

To Lourdes & Jerry, we were so happy you made the trip and the house felt so empty after you were gone. We look forward to having you as guests in our home again be it in Altus or at the next stop on this crazy ride.

Family + Friends + Florida = Another Knot Tied

Stunning.

It seemed we bounced like ping pong balls from Arkansas back to our respective homes, and then to the Sunshine State to celebrate Bijan and Banafsheh's wedding. In the days between getting home from Arkansas and leaving for Tampa, we were all still feeling a bit googly-eyed and glazed over from all the excitement of the holidays. My mom & dad, and I were each at home long enough to do a few loads of laundry and throw our belongings back into suitcases before heading of to the airports.

<Insert usual ridiculous story about how long it took me to get to the airport from Altus> Long story short, I had a direct flight from Dallas to Tampa. Took me 3.5 hours to get to Dallas, 2 hours to get to Tampa.Yay!

When I arrived in Tampa, my parents were already there. They had flown in from Baltimore and arrived a couple of hours earlier. Just early enough to pick up our rental car and grab a bite to eat. Knowing me as they do and figuring I'd be frantically hungry by the time I arrived, they greeted me at the gate with a buffalo chicken wrap. I ate that thing in a matter of seconds, but will never forget how good it was.

Me & my Babak in St. Pete

We went straight from the airport to my amoo (uncle) Hossein's house. There, we spent a lazy afternoon on his porch enjoying the warm weather and the sun. My cousins were busy with last-minute wedding errands and "to-dos," but by the time dinner rolled around, everyone had congregated at Hossein's house. The party included: Three amoos (Hossein, Hassan, & Taghi), one aunt (Elaine), two cousins (Babak & Bijan the groom), the bride-to-be (Banafsheh), one couple who are good friends of the bride & groom (Milad & Nazi), mom, dad , and me! Hossein, after spending most of the afternoon in the kitchen, served a delicious Persian dinner complete with all of my favorite dishes! We had a great time hanging out together and were so pleased that Bijan and Banafsheh decided to spend the evening before their wedding day in our company.

On the day of the wedding, we spent most of the morning on the porch. We did this everyday we were there because Hossein's porch overlooks a beautiful pond with ducks and herons and various other waterfowl. The weather on that particular weekend in Tampa was perfect, so we happily watched the hours pass from that spot.

In the afternoon, my mom and I had hair appointments. Usually Gila is our personal hair stylist, but unfortunately she wasn't able to make it to Florida that weekend. Desperate times called for desperate measures, so mom and I called on the experts...or so we thought....

Thankfully sporting "hair dos" rather than "hair don'ts"

We ended up at a little salon near my uncle's house. The two women working in the salon both acted a little squirrely when we showed up, but we thought nothing of it. I sat in the chair first, and the poor girl worked on my up-do for well over an hour; verging on two. Somewhere near the 90th minute of tugging, struggling, and sighing, she admitted that she was told our appointment was for "two little girls getting their hair done for a birthday party" and that up-dos are not her thing. She would be, "happy to color my hair and put in some extensions, though!" Luckily, she was really sweet and I (consider myself to be) a very easy-going customer. With a lot of patience, some stylistic input from me, and a little encouragement, she eventually created a pretty nice hairdo. My mom's hair was a little less intimidating and she did a great job with it in a pretty short amount of time. Hair crisis averted, we went back to Hossein's to get ready for the wedding. 

Babak and me

Step aside Brangelina

A couple of contenders for "world's best uncle"

Dad & Amoo Hossein (ps, Babak made the centerpieces)

The wedding took place in the clubhouse (not a good word for it) in a beautiful Tampa neighborhood. The houses all around it were picturesque and ginormous, like pictures out of a Better Homes & Gardens magazine. There were sculptures and fountains outside the building and beautiful archways, great rooms, and balconies inside. The ceremony took place in the presence of close family and friends only. The best ceremonies are those that are memorable. Those of us lucky enough to share in the experience will never forget how wonderful or sweet Bijan and Banafsheh's ceremony was. 

Moments after it ended, the rest of the guests began to arrive; somewhere between 50 and 60 in total. The party started with dancing (just how I like it)! It was a unique reception that mixed aspects of both Persian and American culture, with a twist on it all. I am not able to speak on anything that went on that night besides dancing as I think I only left the floor to eat dinner (which was delicious). It was such a celebratory and fun-filled night. I couldn't help but get teary-eyed a few times when thinking about how amazing it was that so much of my dad's family was in one room, in America. We had patiently waited so long for that exact moment. It was hard to be anything but thankful.

St. Petersburg

Some of the crew

On Sunday, we spent the day in St. Petersburg, FL. It is kind of an artsy fartsy little place with huge old trees and beautiful views of Tampa Bay. We walked along popping in and out of shops and galleries before making our way to the pier where we had lunch. The food was great and the view was beautiful. We were having a wonderful time except a few of us (myself included) had a little trouble staying calm in the presence of hundreds of descending sea gulls. In fact, one very aggressive bird even took it upon himself to steal a chip right out of my mom's fingers. I tell you, my mom and the animals, really not sure what's going on with that...

That night the whole crowd from the pre-wedding night got together again for dinner on Sunday. This time we went out for Italian food. We visited for so long that we closed the restaurant down. It was a great way to end the trip with all of us together again, one more time.

Babak and Momma in St. Pete

Monday morning made for one last relaxing morning on the porch. Bijan & Banafsheh came over for lunch. Hossein cooked some very yummy spaghetti (Persian style). We all stuffed ourselves silly one last time before it was time to say goodbye. Mom and I had flights home that afternoon and my dad stayed until Tuesday.

Trying to postpone goodbye for as long as possible, my mom and I indulged in classy top-shelf martinis at the TGI Friday's airport bar. After pushing it to the point that my mom was being paged for her flight, we went our separate ways, hopped on our planes, and headed for opposite sides of the country. Because I still had a three and a half hour drive when I got home and I was getting into Dallas close to 10, I stayed the night at my friend Shannon's house. Her mom surprised me with a visit, too, staying up way past her bedtime to say hello. Shannon and I proceeded to stay up way past her bedtime visiting, but we had a great time. Poor Shan had to go to work in the AM, but I (after being gifted with a spare key) was invited to sleep in until I could pull myself together to get on the road.

On Tuesday morning, I made my way home to Altus. As usual, it was wonderful to come home. I am so fortunate to have been able to take all of those trips and spend time with all of those people, but after almost a full month of bouncing around the country, I was happy to be back in A-town and back home with Eric. A prolonged stay in my sleepy town was just what the doctor ordered.

The Big Eight-Oh!

ma-tri-arch
Noun:     1. A woman who is the head of a family or tribe.
              2. An older woman who is powerful within a family or organization.
              3. My grandmother.

The Crew

photo credit: Lee Guthrie Photography, www.leeguthriephotography.com

I've talked before about how cool my grandmother is. But I'll do it again.

My grandmother is glue that holds one huge, spread out family together. Many moons ago, my grandparents made an investment in having a large family. I know it mustn't have been easy, but the look on my grandmother's face when we all come together says, "It was worth it." Together, they had six children who went on to build families of their own. In total, there are well over thirty of us including grand and great-grandchildren. My most recent attempt to count came to thirty-six, but I am never quite confident that I'm remembering every person at any given time.

The almost-whole family came together on what many call "New Years Day," but we call "Grandma's Birthday" to celebrate my grandmother's eightieth year.  The only people missing from the party were Joe (grandson) and Rebecca who were absent (along with their children) because they were bringing yet another grandchild into our ever-expanding clan. Little Randy, Jr. shares a birth month with the lady of honor!

My grandmother is the coolest grandmother for a number of reasons,
I will mention but a few:

1. She loves The Godfather trilogy
2. She has incredible wisdom and and the sharpest wit; a powerful combination
3. She has a (not so) secret crush on Howie Long
4. She loves art, history, travel, and culture
5. On rare occasions, she has popcorn and a beer for dinner
6. She creates wonderful opportunities for our family to spend time together and enjoy each others company
7. For a time, her ringtone was "Black Betty" by Ram Jam
8. She is the picture of strength and resilience
9. She likes to "yank people's chains," but certainly isn't afraid laugh at herself, too
10. She is always up to learn more, understand more, and pursue personal growth

 I could go on and on...

Suffice it to say, she is well-loved, respected & admired by many, and everyone wants to sit with her at dinner. She keeps us laughing. She teaches us through example that joy can be found in the small things in life.

I know I speak for all of us when I say, we are lucky to have you, we are so thankful for you, we love you, and we were overjoyed to be able to celebrate the big Eight-Oh with you. Happy (belated) birthday, Grandma!

Kitchen Smitchen

So we had this plan, right? Eric was going to prep the house in anticipation of my family's visit so that while they were here, we could slap down all the new flooring and call it a day. All the extra hands on deck were going to make it a simple and quick job. But you know what they (Robert Burns) say(s)...

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." And they did. But it ended up being a good thing.

Due to some unexpected plumbing eruptions issues that kept Eric busy for a full week, the prep work for laying the floors never happened. I informed my parents that, despite their hopes for a week full of hard labor, blood, and sweat, they would have to settle for a relaxing week of visiting, vegging, and eating (standard holiday itinerary). If you know my parents, you know that they love a good project and that this was not the kind of week they were looking for. I mean, they had already packed their work clothes and everything!

So, being that I have a few projects on my long and vast home-improvement "to do " list, I was able to quickly formulate a plan B. "How about repainting the kitchen?" I asked. It was the perfect idea being that Eric and I had purchased the paint long ago, but had been suffering from a very serious case of "we don't want to paint another wall ever...EVER."

Not to my surprise, my family jumped right on board with that idea. Eric removed cabinet doors, my dad removed the horrid crown molding & took over sanding, my mom did all the edging, and my sister and I were the holy rollers. This is what happens when four smart, talented and creative people and me put their heads, sanders, screwdrivers, and paintbrushes together and get to work:

Old Kitchen

New Kitchen

Old Kitchen

New Kitchen

Old Dining Room

New Dining Room

Ta Da!

Here is how we did the cabinets:
1. Remove all doors, sand front and back, wipe clean before priming
2. Lightly sand all of the cabinets and faces of drawers in the kitchen (this was the messiest part, lots and lots of dust- if you want to do more work you could remove them from the house and do this outside- we did it inside, but it worked for us) 
3. Remove contents of all cabinets and drawers
3. Paint ONE coat of primer on front and back of each door and all of the cabinets and drawers
4. Paint TWO coats of paint on all of the above
5. Clean insides of all drawers and cabinets with soapy water before returning the contents
6. Give doors and drawers ample time to dry before allowing them to touch the surfaces of the cabinets again, this prevents sticking and peeling of paint

The whole ordeal was a big mess and a huge project to try to take on in just a couple of days. There were moments where none of us could fathom picking up another tool or brush, but I come from a family of champions and no one wanted to be the quitter! And at the end of the day, the dust cleared, the paint dried, things were returned to their places, and we had a great time doing it! It was actually a pretty fun way to spend time together as a family. We all felt proud of the end result and impressed by what we had accomplished. A million and two thank yous to mom, dad & Gila!!

Eric and I could not be more pleased with our new kitchen. It feels homier, warmer, and about 20 years more modern than the former one. We still have a few more things to do before we can wrap the kitchen project: (1) finish painting the cabinet doors and put them back on with new hardware, (2) paint and re-cover cushions on bar chairs (above on right), and (3) put in those darn new floors!

Mom, dad, Gila, you all planning to visit anytime soon? I kid, I kid!! (kind of....) 

THE Road Trip from YouKnowWhere

The plan? My parents and I had to drive from Columbia, MD to a place in TN to pick up Gila who was being dropped off by Clint. We would all enjoy a relaxing lunch with Clint & Gila and then the four of us would hit the road to Altus and arrive on Christmas Eve. We expected the drive from Columbia to Altus to take about  26 hours to complete.

Nothing but open road ahead

We had one big goal in mind, which was to make it to Altus without having to stop in a hotel. This goal was contingent on a number of "hopes," too: we hope it doesn't snow, we hope we have the stamina, we hope we make good time, etc. We had developed a number of coping strategies to help us get through this ordeal. We rented a huge van; a really nice van in which we could construct a bed of sorts that we could take turns using to lay down and sleep- this was crucial. We made sure that all four of us were listed as drivers on the rental. If we broke the drive up into two-hour driving shifts, it would make the time go by faster (or at least feel like it). We left Maryland really early in the morning so that by the time the afternoon rolled around, we could feel like we'd made significant progress. Finally, we all had agreed that it was okay to stop if we really needed to. This made us feel like we weren't being forced to torture ourselves; we were opting to torture ourselves (a nice little mental trick).

In the days before the trip, we felt like we were preparing for a marathon. And finally, the day arrived. Our alarms went off at 5am. We got ready, packed the last items into the van, and were out of the house by close to six. My dad hopped in the passenger seat, I in the back, and my mom was going to take the first driving shift. My mom said, "ready!?" with excitement. We replied, "yep!" with equal gusto. She turned the key. We did not hear the churning of a powerful V6 minivan engine. No, we heard..clicking.

Our balloons of hope were deflating rapidly and we reacted through a combination of reasoning, blame, and panic.

"Maybe it's the battery?"
"Did you leave the lights on last night?"
"Expletive" 
"I swear everything was turned off."
"This sucks."
"What are we going to DO?"

And finally my dad said, "Let me try." So my mom got out of the car and handed my dad the keys. He did some jiggling and turning and the car started! We immediately celebrated and began to rationalize why it didn't start in the first place,

"You know how sometimes the shifter isn't all the way in park and you can't start the car when that happens?"
"Yeah, exactly. Isn't it funny we thought we were going to have to get a different car?"
"So funny!"

Does that look comfy, or what?

And we were off! We made great time to TN! We stopped for food and for gas and did not have any further problems with that tricky engine. You silly van, you. My mom and I each took morning naps in the van-bed. Our confidence in our ability to make it to Altus in one fell swoop was increasing with each passing hour. We arrived at our meeting place (Ruby Tuesdays) in TN just a few minutes before Gila & Clint.

The five of us had a great time at lunch. We got to hear all about Gila's visit with Clint's family and what Clint's plans were for Christmas. We got to talk about how much time we had ahead and make jokes about how rough it was going to be. We made no mention of the incident in the driveway that morning not because we wanted to keep it a secret, but because we had all forgotten about it. That was how much we believed that it was a fluke and not a real, potential problem. We showed off our makeshift bed to Gila & Clint who both agreed that it looked really comfy! We exchanged Christmas gifts with Clint, said our goodbyes, and piled into the van.

Dad turned the key....clicking.

Life is good!

Everyone was pretty surprised to hear this old, familiar sound. Gila had to be filled in on what happened earlier and again we started postulating about what was causing the problem. I remembered that when this happened in the morning, my mom took the keys out of the ignition and handed them to my dad. Maybe, just maybe my dad had used a different key than my mom to start the car. I suggested,

"Dad, try the other key, maybe one of the keys is messed up!"

Dad tried the other key and low and behold, the van started! Again we were relieved to finally know the real problem. One of the keys was bent or something! Obviously! We made a mental note of the key we should use versus the key we shouldn't use and got on with our day. Worry-free.

Happier times

We made several stops for gas, to stretch our legs, to switch drivers. No problems! We were making great time. All of us were enjoying the use of the bed. Gila and I were even able to lay down next to each other and watch episodes Modern Family on her computer...that was just how awesome it was! We were unstoppable and also a bit hungry. We decided to stop at Chick Fil-A for dinner. We were all pretty road-happy and loopy by that time. We had the giggles and were acting as though we had never been in a Chick Fil-A before; staring at the menu like we'd never seen it. We even had to ask the girl who took our orders what city and state we were in! Turns out, we were still somewhere in TN. FYI, TN is one long and narrow state. If you ever consider crossing it horizontally, be prepared for this.

We finished dinner, piled into the car, mom turned the key..........clicking. We double checked to make sure we used the right key. We did. We made sure the van was alllll-the-way in park. It was. This time it did not re-start. We had to call roadside assistance. The woman on the other end of the phone was nice, but tedious. She made my mom honk the horn, flash the lights, etc., etc. We were attracting a lot of attention in that Chick Fil-A parking lot. One nice woman offered to help us. There was nothing anyone could do except wait for the towing company.

Tow-man arrived. He was very kind and very sympathetic. He jumped our car with this giant battery and it started. (We decided that what we really needed was a battery pack with jumper cables, not a new car, that thing was sweet). He turned off the engine and tried to re-start it....clicking. He confirmed that there was some kind of major issue and strongly encouraged us to swap cars to prevent us from being stranded out in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of night. He jumped the car again and pointed us in the direction of the Memphis airport through a very long set of detailed directions, which he repeated several times. My mom was patiently saying, "uh huh," "mm-hmm," and nodding, but the look on her face said, "Dude, I tuned out a few minutes ago." My sister, dad and I were trying not to laugh so hard, but failing miserably.

We pulled out of the parking lot and were on our way to Memphis when we received a call from the rental company. They said they would be happy to switch out our car so long as we returned our van with a full tank of gas. I can't repeat what my dad's response was, but trust me, it was funny. Luckily my mom was the one on the phone and she said, "So, my car wont start if I turn it off, do you want me to refill the tank with the engine on?" They replied, "No, don't do that, we apologize, just get here." So we did.

In rental car world, what happened to us was that we got upgraded to a swanky SUV. In our world, we lost some significant space, including our bed. We stuffed everything into that car and were pretty cramped. The middle seats could not recline at all because of all the stuff in the back row. We got into several arguments with one another before leaving the parking lot. We drove for about 20 minutes with the headlights off because my dad was too stubborn to pull over and get to know the functions on the car. My mom had sunk into what only appeared to be a deep depression. I oscillated between yelling at people and trying to play peacemaker. Gila just tried to make everyone smile. To top all of this off, the car smelled strongly of strawberry shortcake (which was the straw(berry) that broke the camel's back for my mom) and had a significant shimmy.

We tried to regain our confidence that we could still make it, despite the hold ups, the lost time, and the lost bed. No one wanted to be the one to say, "Let's stop," but the loss of the bed was a fatal blow. A little less than two hours after we shimmied out of Memphis, we decided to start looking for hotels.

Everyone fell asleep immediately and pretty much without speaking to one another. "Never go to bed angry" were words of wisdom that were proving difficult to live by that night. We had all reached our limits. We woke up around eight the next morning, had breakfast, started being nice to each other again, and got back on the road.

We love you, Eric!

The remainder of the trip was pretty unremarkable. We made good time and the smell of strawberries had either become familiar or had actually diminished. The car still shimmied, but at least it started. We drove straight from wherever we stopped to Altus, stopping only for gas. We arrived in the early afternoon of Christmas Eve. We were so happy to see Eric and he had made us beautiful homemade pizzas for dinner.

We failed to accomplish our goal, but what really mattered was that we arrived safely and that we still kind of loved each other. We agreed that, at the end of the day,  it was better that we stopped anyway. At least our nights and days were on track and we didn't have to pull into the driveway, greet Eric and proceed to sleep the day away.

All's well that ends well, but I think it will be a while before we attempt that kind of trip again.